I have a little list of blog topics, a few drafts saved to polish up. But this post was completely unplanned. It arose last night as I went through the first fifty pages of my 200+ page manuscript.
I’ve already done one major revision — I rearanged the scenes to get the main conflict started sooner, and I’ve cut out some scenes that didn’t advance the plot. Then I went through from beginning to end trying to clean up the prose.
So why all of a sudden the urge to trash it? Part of the problem is that I’ve worked on it so slowly, looking at only a tiny chunk at a time — usually less than a chapter at any one sitting. I wrote it that way, and I’ve been editing it that way. I’ve been working on it like that for about five years. I’m a mommy — I’ve been squeezing it in where I could.
Now that I’m sitting down to read through a big section at one time, I see so many things that need to be fixed! There are characterization issues, POV issues, plot issues — the story doesn’t propel itself forward like it should.
Part of the problem, no doubt, is that I’ve learned a lot about craft since I started on this story. But I really think the biggest problem is the way I wrote it.
When I started crafting the story, I had a list of scenes that I knew had to happen. (Or at least, I wanted them to happen — several of those are gone now.) But I didn’t work from beginning to end, creating a logical sequence of one event that fed into another. I wrote whatever scene I felt like writing at the time. I thought it was a good strategy, and in truth the book probably still wouldn’t be finished if I didn’t let myself jump around in the first draft.
But what I’ve ended up with is a bunch of disconnected scenes — not one smooth story.
Can it be fixed? Probably. But I’m not nearly as close to being finished with it as I thought. I think that’s the main source of discouragement at this point. I thought I was closer to being done. I’m about to tackle batch number two — pages 51-104. (I thought I’d try to end the second batch at a chapter break.)
I’ll let you know If it looks any more salvageable after I finish this batch.
What do you do when you look at something you’ve written, and it’s awful? Ok — maybe not totally awful, but in need of major surgery?
WriteintheLight.com 
Oh, Laura, I know exactly how you feel. So many times I’ve felt this way. And, eek, not only on one manuscript. You know, this could be your “under the bed” manuscript or you can keep plugging away at it.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you feel better. Lol, I know what you mean about being a mommy and trying to squeeze the writing in.
But press on! You want to write and you HAVE written. That’s a major accomplishment, something most people only dream of doing.
I hope you’ll keep us posted :-)
And thanks for stopping by. The zoo was great.
LOL! This one really may end up being my “under the bed” manuscript. I just don’t know if I have the heart to do all that needs to be done to it right now.